


Hawaii #10 - Epilogue

by LondonGypsy



Series: Hawaii [10]
Category: Kane (Band)
Genre: AU'ish, Fluff, From Sex to Love, M/M, Porn With Plot, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-30
Updated: 2012-07-30
Packaged: 2017-11-11 02:07:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/473279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LondonGypsy/pseuds/LondonGypsy





	Hawaii #10 - Epilogue

Steve stares into the sky, feet propped on an empty chair, a glass of whiskey in his hand. 

The sun is setting, painting the most wonderful colors over the cove but he doesn't notice. 

His mind is blank, his body feels numb and his heart hurts as if there's a part missing. 

He frowns as that thought faintly appears and drowns it quickly with a long sip of his whiskey.

But the sting in his heart isn't going away. Every day it gets worse. 

The days are gray; even the hot burning Hawaiian sun can't lighten the shadows that lay over everything. 

His mood is terrible and not only because he hadn't been to the beach for a couple of days. 

His friends come by every day, asking whether or not he’s coming over, but he never does. 

He can't stand company lately, can't stand the strange looks on their faces or the stopping of conversations when he walks by. 

He closes the café late; sometimes he’s there until midnight, working like a lunatic. When he finally closes he sits on the deck, staring into nothingness and drowns his running thoughts until they shut up. 

Sighing, he empties the glass and stands up. 

Today the café isn't as busy as usual and he considers staying, keeping it open, just in case. 

But he knows the behavior of his guests; there won’t be anyone else coming. 

He shuffles inside, closing and locking the doors and flicks the lights out. 

For moment he stands in the dim room, head tilted as if he's listening, waiting for something. 

But there is nothing but the usual sounds of the early evening and Steve shakes his head. 

Leaving through the deck doors he wanders over the sand to his house, where he pours himself another drink. 

While deciding whether to stay inside or sit on his porch he grunts and falls on his couch, switching on the TV and zapping restlessly through the channels. 

He falls asleep, the blue light of the TV on his face as the ads end and the intro to _Leverage_ flickers over the screen. 

* * *

Christian yawns; it has been a long day on set and he’s exhausted. All he wants to do is go home, take a long hot shower, grab some food and crash before the sun comes up. 

He loves night shoots. They are draining and mind numbing and that’s exactly what he needs. 

Usually his thoughts are occupied by the lines he has to learn, the stunts he has to choreograph and the normal busy acting schedule. 

But once in a while a pair of sparkling blue eyes sneaks into his head, forcing him to stop everything he’s doing and just drown in the memory of them. 

Sighing, he rubs a hand over his face and the scratching sound of his stubble makes him grin. 

Yeah, memories are odd things, hitting you in the gut when you least expect it. 

“Christian!” 

He looks up, realizing that he's standing in front of Beth's trailer, hand on the door. He turns, grinning sheepishly at Beth, who stands behind him, throwing him a worried look. 

“Hey, are you okay? You seem a little confused lately,” she asks, twisting her long hair into a ponytail and nudging him aside to open the trailer door. 

“Nah, I'm okay,” he mutters and follows her inside. He falls onto the little couch, watching how she sheds Parker and becomes Beth again with every piece of clothing she pulls off. She grabs some make-up remover pads and sighs in bliss as she blinks at Christian, her face strangely naked and vulnerable without all the make-up. 

She sits down on the other couch and eyes him curiously. 

“No, man, you are not okay,” she states and leans over to open the small fridge. She takes two bottles of beer and offers Christian one before she leans back with a sigh. 

“What is it, Christian? You know you can talk to me, right? Whatever it is, I'm here for you. And so are the rest of the cast.” 

She takes a sip of her beer, watching him closely, waiting patiently. 

Christian shakes his head; he can't talk about what keeps him awake at night and makes night shoots so seductive. The fact is, he only can sleep when it’s getting light outside, when he's too beat to be kept awake by his racing thoughts. 

“I'm good, really,” he mumbles and Beth only snorts at the lie. 

“Well, if you don’t wanna talk about it... Hey, how was your vacation? Did you go anywhere interesting?” 

* * *

Steve groans as he sees Danneel sitting on the steps of the deck as he approaches the café. 

“Morning, Grumpy,” she chirps cheerfully as he reaches her, frowning down at her smiling face. 

“What do you want?” he growls, opening the door and entering the dark room. 

“Well, for starters a coffee would be nice,” she says lightly as she slides on a stool and watches Steve heading behind the counter.

“Coffee? You don’t come over at the crack of dawn for coffee, Danni, you never did. So, spill it.” 

Steve switches on a small light; he’s slightly hungover and his eyes can't endure bright lights just yet.

She tsks him. 

“A little rude, ain’t we, hmmm?” 

She motions him to come to her and sighing deeply he complies, knowing she won’t let him get away when he refuses. He wants to sit on a stool next to her but she grabs his arm and pulls him closer so he comes to stand between her freakishly long legs. 

“Steve, darlin', listen to me. You can't keep going like this. You're gonna break yourself. Call him, write him an email, fuck, send smoke signals if you have to, but do something. We're worried about you, babe.” 

She strokes his hair back, searching his eyes. 

Steve fights for a moment, doesn't want to give in but her big brown eyes break his resistance. 

“I can't,” he whispers, voice rough with exhaustion. 

“Of course you can,” Danneel counters softly, cupping his face with her small hands. 

“No, Danni, I can't. I have nothing but his name. No number, no address, fuck I don’t even know his last name.” 

She sucks in a sharp breath. 

“What? You gotta be kidding me?! You...he....” 

Her sweet face permeates confusion and disbelief. 

Steve sighs deeply and straightens his back, facing the hard reality. 

“No. We never talked about that. It...it never was an issue... I guess we both knew it was only a... a ..” 

He shrugs; he doesn't even know what exactly _it_ was. But it’s over; Christian is gone and he should just begin to forget him. 

“Steve. No. We have all seen you. Both of you. That wasn’t just a fling or sex or whatever the kids call that today. You told me you like him. A lot. And believe me, the way he looked at you when you weren't paying attention, he has feelings for you, too” 

Steve shrugs and slowly takes a step back. 

“Well, he's gone. I have no way to see him again. It’s over,” he says roughly, and walks back behind the counter to get everything ready for a new day. 

“Ohh, Stevie,” Danneel's voice is barely audible but she slides off her stool and with one last look she leaves. 

Steve leans against the counter, all of a sudden dead tired; his head is throbbing and his eyes burn. 

As the doors open and the first guest of this morning walks inside, Steve smiles and puts on his business face; nobody will see the broken heart. 

* * * 

“Geez, Christian, you suck today, you know that?” 

Christian blinks and slowly gets back into reality. 

“Huh?” 

Aldis and Tim shake their heads and Aldis knocks lightly against Christian's head.

“Hello, anybody home?!” 

Christian grumbles and glares at them. 

“Come on, do we play poker now or will you daydream all night long?” Tim asks impatiently. 

“Sorry, guys, I'm not really in the mood today, I guess.” 

Christian takes a sip of his beer, trying to keep his thoughts in line. 

Aldis leans forward.

“Are you okay, man? You seem...well, different lately. Anything you wanna tell us?” 

His tone is concerned and his forehead is wrinkled. 

Christian observes him for a moment but then shakes his head. 

“Nah, it’s okay, I'm good; just tired, that’s all.” 

Slowly but surely he starts to think that the more he tells the people around him he's okay, the more he’ll believe it himself. 

Maybe if he tells himself that everything is good, he can forget those warm hands, caressing every inch of his skin. He can forget those soft lips, kissing him hard and hungrily, making him want to crawl inside the moist heat...

“Excuse me...” he pants, jumps to his feet and flees the room. 

He knows Aldis' place as well as his own so he hurries through the living room and kicks the glass doors open, leading into the big garden area. 

It's cold and he can see his breath, little clouds in front of his face and he walks to the fence, sucking in the chilly air. 

The night is clear and he can see the stars, blinking in the velvet sky, even though the lights of the city below him outshine their sparkling. 

He leans against the fence, trying to control his breathing. 

His head is spinning and his cock twitches in his jeans. Groaning he drops his hand there, easing the aching need. 

“Fuck, fuck...” he murmurs, his betraying brain flooding with images of white sand, burning sun and softly tanned skin. 

“No, no, no.” 

His hand tightens around the growing bulge in his pants. Not here, not tonight. 

He takes a few deep breaths, the cold air stings in his lungs and slowly he regains enough control over his body that he can walk back inside. 

“I'm sorry, guys,” he calls from the door, “I'm going home. I don’t feel well.” 

Aldis and Tim have the exact same expression of confusion on their faces and it would be funny on any other day, but Christian can't think straight. 

Aldis gets up, wanting to come over but Christian waves him off.

“I'm good, man. I’ll see y'all on Monday.”

He spins and almost runs out of the house. He barely makes it to his car before his hand slips into his jeans, closing around his aching cock and he is jerking off furiously. His head is thrown back against the seat, he is biting his lip until he tastes blood, trying desperately to suppress the needy moans that want to break free. 

He comes with a low whine, trembling heavily at the violence of it. His heart is pumping and his legs feel boneless. He reaches under the passenger seat and gets the tissues he put there. 

After he cleaned himself up as well as possible he sits there for a moment until he is sure he can drive. 

He starts the car and while he carefully drives home, it starts softly snowing. 

* * * 

Steve's fingers slide over the strings of the guitar and the soothing sound echoes over the sand. Steve tilts his head, listening for the notes. A smile flickers over his face as he starts playing. He hasn't played for a week now and he realized that he had missed it. 

His fingers feel stiff but the longer he plays, the better it feels and as he sings silently along; he can't stop the feeling of relief. 

This is his life, his everything. The café is more like a necessity to earn some money to do the things he loves most: playing, singing, being with his friends.

A hot flash shoots through his stomach as he thinks about them and how he abandoned them lately. 

He eyes the horizon; the sun is setting but is not gone yet, and he makes a decision. 

He jumps to his feet and hurries back inside. The café is mostly empty – only a couple of people are sitting by the window, chatting. He grabs his guitar and his keys and throws them at one of them.

“Close for me when everybody's gone?” 

The man's eyes grow wide in surprise but Steve sees him nodding before he storms out. He knows them well enough to trust them, and right now it’s the last thing he cares about. 

As he opens the small door and the branches of the trees brush over his back, he feels how with every step he loses the shield he had built over the last days. Shedding himself from the past he sets his foot on the warm sand and the loud yells from his friends wash over him, making him smile widely. 

Genevieve and Danneel are by his side in an instant, burying him in a bone-crushing hug, nuzzling his neck as he chuckles at the squeaking sounds both girls make. 

“Ladies, please, I can't breathe,” he laughs and frees himself from their clinging arms. 

“Pah,” Danneel snorts and pulls him in another hug, “who needs to breathe. We're just happy you're back.” 

Steve laughs again; it feels good and he presses a kiss on her hair. 

“Me, too, Danni, me too,” he mumbles and wraps his arms around both women, walking down to the ever-present fire. 

The guys welcome him loudly and soon they're drinking, singing and playing. 

Nobody mentions the past week, they move on like they always did. Only Danneel's eyes are watching him closely; he feels them once in a while but whenever he looks up, she's only smiling her bright, carefree grin and he tells himself that she's only concerned. She always is, always was, so it’s nothing new. 

As the fire dies down and the moon rises, Steve yawns and everybody laughs. He's usually the last to leave. 

“Guess I’m gonna call it a night,” he grins and stands, brushing the sand off of his back. 

“Night, guys. Ladies...” He bows down, smirking at them as they giggle. Danneel jumps to her feet, her eyes searching Jensen’s and Steve frowns as he sees the slight shaking of his head. 

Danneel drills her eyes into his and the air between them seems to prickle. There's something going on and Steve has no clue what it is.

“Guys?” he asks, confused and worried. 

“Yes, Jen, I will,” Danneel says determined and as she looks to Steve, he flinches at the hard look in her face. 

“Come, Steve, I’ll accompany you,” she coos, softening her expression and ignoring Jensen’s protest. 

Steve waves at his friends and Danneel hooks her arm around him, almost dragging him over the sand. 

“Danni?? What the fuck? What is it?” he asks as they are out of earshot of the others. 

“Nothing,” she says, but her voice is shaky and Steve stops her from walking along. 

“Mrs. Ackles, tell me what the hell this is about. Now.” 

She hesitates but then she throws her hair back and straightens her back. 

“Kane.” 

Steve frowns at her, completely lost. 

“Huh?” 

She sighs deeply, laying her hand on his face, stroking his cheek. 

“Kane. Christian Kane. That’s his name. I saw him on TV the other night. You didn’t tell us that he's an actor.” 

Steve only stares at her; the blood is rushing loudly in his ears, his heart is beating so fast, he wonders faintly if it might explode as his mind tries to process what she just said.

“What?” he finally croaks. 

“Sit down, I’m gonna tell you something,” she says softly and sits on a rock at the top of the dune. 

Steve falls down, his buckling knees giving in. 

Danneel leans forward and takes his cold hands. 

“Baby, I’ve known it for a while now. Jen and I watched TV one night, and there is that show, _Leverage_ , and ...well, I saw him on there...and....” 

Steve swallows hard.

“You knew who he was?” 

His voice is only a low snarl; his vocal cords feel like they are sore. 

She lowers her head and sighs. 

“Yeah, but we decided not to tell you. We didn’t know how. You were so...so lost and we thought it wouldn’t help if you knew. It would only give him a name and you still wouldn’t have had any way to contact him.” 

“But...but...” 

Steve is stammering, his mind is rotating, trying to work with the fact that his Stranger now has a last name. 

“Darlin', I Googled him, tried to find anything that might have helped to find him....”

Steve holds his breath and blows it out as she continues. 

“...there's nothing.”

He slumps down, the tiny spark of hope dies and his hands clench around Danneel's. 

“I didn’t find anything on the web, no address, no phone number, only that he's filming that show in Portland.” 

“I knew _that_ ,” Steve murmurs weakly. 

Danneel's lips curl into a mysterious smile. 

“Well, if you had talked to me about that little fact....” She pauses and the smile gets wider. 

“... I might have found him earlier.” 

Steve's head shoots up, more confused than before.

“Huh? You said you didn’t find anything??”

Her smile becomes blinding as she leans forward and whispers:

“I didn’t find anything about where he lives but I know where he will be next Saturday.” 

She leans back, her body language pure satisfaction. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Steve hisses, letting go of her hands as his anger boils up. 

She frowns but then she reaches out, wanting to stroke his hair but he jerks back.

She sighs.

“Steve, we thought you'd get over him once he was gone. We thought you'd go back to normal, we wanted to let some time pass and then you would have been the same old Stevie again.”

She twists her hands and as she looks up, her eyes are wet.

“It didn’t happen. You drew back more and more, you didn’t even come here anymore and that was when I knew I had to do something. Jen didn’t know what I did, that I found him, well sort of. He always wanted to keep you from any harm, you know? But we had to do something before we lost you completely. You coming today...that was great, but I can see it, you're still not over him, are you? You can't forget him…” 

Mutely Steve shakes his head, his anger vanishing as quickly as it came. 

“No. Not for one second.” 

Danneel slides off the rock and slings her arms around him. 

“That's what I thought.” 

Steve inhales her warm and soothing scent, and all of a sudden he knows everything will be good.

He pulls back, smiling weakly at her.

“Are you gonna tell me now, or do I have to beg?” 

His voice is still shaky but the teasing tone makes Danneel grin. She shoves him gently away and as he gets up she holds out her hands. He drags her up and into a hug. 

“ _Dante's_ , Portland, Saturday, 8 pm,” she whispers in his ear and presses a quick kiss on his nose. 

“Thank you, Danni. I don’t know why I deserve such wonderful friends.” 

She throws her hair back and laughs. 

“Because you're a damn good cook, my dear.” 

With that she turns and hurries back to the fire. 

Steve's eyes follow her as she falls next to her husband, who frowns at her, but she waves him off and snags his glass. 

Steve smiles thoughtfully and strolls back to his house. 

* * *

Christian grins as he peeks around the corner. The club is buzzing with excitement and Will told him it's sold out. 

This is the first weekend since he's been back that they're playing again. 

_Leverage_ got picked up for another season and Christian called the others to celebrate it. The club was happy to host him again; the summer shows were all sold out and slowly but surely the band was making a name for itself. 

_KANE_. It still felt weird to name the band after him but deep inside he is proud of his accomplishments. He sneaks back in the green room, smiling widely as he sees the rest of the band, hanging around, waiting to go on stage and tear the roof off. 

Christian knows he’s not the best _musician_ but he makes up for that with his voice and his songs. 

He wrote a couple of those, mostly sad love songs, and it helped to dull the pain that still spreads through his chest whenever he thinks about Steve. 

He Googled the café, of course, but didn’t find anything, not even an entry in the telephone book. 

Sure, he could go back once he can get some days off, but that wouldn’t be smart. 

He knows they don’t have a future. Their lives are just too different from each other and he tries to see it as a summer affair. And the sharp sting in his chest? Well, he has to live with it. It will always remind him of a wonderful time. 

“Ready to kick ass?!” Ryan tears him out of his musings and he grins at him. 

He grabs his guitar and lets his eyes wander over the guys: Jason, Will and Ryan, his band, eager to play. 

“Hell yeah,” he growls and climbs up the steps. 

The cheers are loud and excited and the big smile on Christian's face just stays on; it feels like coming home. 

His gaze roams over the full room; it’s packed, and the people are drinking and having a great time. 

His smile got even wider as he wraps the guitar strap around his shoulder and steps to the microphone to welcome the crowd. 

* * *

Steve isn't sure that he is doing the right thing as he climbs out of the cab, shivering at the cold wind blowing through the streets. He looks at the sign, then his eyes fall on the flier pinned to the door. 

The dark hair, the blue eyes, and Steve's heart starts pounding as he slowly approaches the entrance. 

Even on paper, the overwhelming presence of the man has Steve's blood rushing faster through his veins. He takes a deep breath before he pushes the door open. 

It's loud and dark inside and Steve's eyes need a moment to adjust. The place is crowded; it’s hot and Steve quickly slips out of the thick jacket he's wearing. He leaves it at the coat-check and coils through the people until he reaches the bar; he needs a drink before he can think any further. 

It was kind of an impulsive decision to leave the café to Jason and Riley to keep it from closing, and it was almost too easy to book the flight and a hotel in Portland. He didn’t think about anything that might happen after he arrived here. 

He orders a whiskey and while he waits the lights dim down. He turns and sees the small stage in the back of the room. 

_KANE,_ he reads on the back of the drum set in the middle of the stage, and before his mind can catch up with the thought and its meaning, Christian enters the stage, guitar in his hands and a blinding smile on his face. 

Steve gasps and his palms get sweaty as his eyes follow every movement he makes.

As the man steps to the microphone and welcomes the people, Steve groans softly. 

God, how he had missed that voice. He had heard him in his head every night when he went to bed, but hearing him in person again, joking with the crowd, makes all of that a dull memory. 

The rough sound of Christian talking and the deep drawl has Steve's doubts melt and he can't tear his eyes off of the man on stage. His hands clutch hard to the glass in his hand and he can't think of anything but storming onto that stage and kissing him senseless. 

Only the fact that he can't feel his knees right now keeps him from doing exactly that. So he stays where he is, trying to control the erratic pants, and he waits. 

* * * 

Christian feels a strange tingle on his neck as he starts with his first song; something feels different tonight but he can't put a finger on it. 

He concentrates on the lines he sings, tries to get lost in the music and it almost works. Almost. 

The longer he plays the more fidgety he gets, his head starts buzzing and his fingers itch. 

He frowns as he misses a chord and when the song is over, he reaches for the bottle of _Jack_ they always keep on stage. He takes a long sip and the alcohol washes the lump in his throat away. 

He takes a deep breath and all of a sudden he decides to change their set list. He doesn’t know why, he just knows it feels like the only thing to do. 

“Hey, guys,” he says as he faces the audience again,” I have to apologize to my band here,” he grins sheepishly over his shoulder to Will and Jay, “I wanna sing a song that isn’t on the list.” 

Will frowns but Jay only shrugs and leans over his guitar. 

“I hope you don’t mind me doing sort of a cover song. A friend taught me this song and...well, you’ll see...” 

He steps back, focusing on the lyrics he has only heard once, but his mind remembers every single word. 

Closing his eyes he strums softly over the strings of his instrument. 

* * * 

Steve's mouth falls open as he hears the first chords; he knows that song. He only heard it once but his musician ear never forgets a good piece and this one is great. 

Shocked, he watches as Christian opens his mouth and as the words pour out, low and quiet, Steve drowns in the emotions and feelings that wash over him. 

* * * 

Christian gets carried away by the song; the words just flow and his head feels light and dizzy. 

“ _It seems to me, every day, I can change. I pick up the pieces and rearrange. Pain can hurt, love can win, our life’s a game. Although we both hurt, we both feel the same. I try and I try, I don’t wanna cry. Hiding these tears in my eyes. And oh far away. Baby, please can’t you stay?_  
 _I just can’t say goodbye. All of this time I’ve been waiting for you. All of this time I’ve been so damn confused. Watching and waiting to have you with me. For all of my life, all of this time...”_

 

Steve can't move, he can't even blink but his lips open all by themselves and as he starts singing, loud and clear, his voice carries all the way through the room. The people turn their heads, the room gets quiet and he feels all of their eyes on him. But he only has eyes for Christian as he keeps singing to the melody in his head. 

“ _Used to be you and me, things have changed. I can’t hear your voice, can’t touch your face, you would think time and space'd dull these aches. But it just gets harder every day. And I try and I try, I don’t want you to cry. Wipe all those tears from your eyes. I can’t walk away. I know I can’t stay. Baby, don’t say goodbye. All of this time I’ve been waiting for you. All of this time I’ve been so damn confused...Watching and waiting to have you with me. For all of my life, all of this time...”_  


Christian's hands fall from the guitar as the familiar voice reaches his ears. For a second the thought that he might be hallucinating shoots through his head, but as he sees how the crowd faces back to the bar his gaze wanders over there as well. He can't see anything, the spotlights blind him but with a certainty that is overwhelming he knows it’s him. He would recognize his voice everywhere. 

His body is numb and his mind is blank; only the lyrics are still stuck in his head. The microphone picks up his silent voice as he continues:

“ _All of this time I’ve been waiting for you. All of this time I’ve been so damn confused...Watching and waiting to have you with me. For all of my life, all of this time_...”

 

Steve has no idea what the hell he is doing as he pushes away from the bar and staggers towards the stage on legs that don’t seem to belong to him. The crowd lets him pass; it’s so quiet, Steve can hear their breathing. 

His gaze is locked with the blind one of Christian. Steve knows he can't see him since the spots are surrounding him with bright light. 

Steve reaches the edge of the stage. He sees how Christian's eyes narrow as he lowers his eyes and then they grow wide in shock. 

His voice is only a whisper as he slowly squats down, his blue eyes drilling into Steve's. 

“ _No, I won’t let go. Not for a day, No one can take all these feelings away. I need you more and more each day. Baby, I wish we could both run away. All that I am is all that you are, I’m not complete without you here at all. Dying inside. All this time...”_  
Steve own voice is fading as they sing the last lines together, to each other, forgetting everything around them. 

 

It’s dead silent as the last words vanish into the air between them. 

Christian lifts his hand and slowly he reaches out, his fingertips aching. 

Steve leans closer, his lids fluttering as he smells Christian's very own scent. 

When Christian touches Steve's face, both men moan tonelessly. Sparks explode in both their heads and their skin is instantly covered with goosebumps. 

With trembling hands Christian runs his finger carefully over Steve’s cheek, outlining the contour of his cheekbone, sliding over his chin as he sighs deeply. 

Steve leans into the faint touch, his eyes still glued to the stunned expression on Christian's face. 

“You're real?!” 

Christian sounds as if he can't believe his eyes and Steve knows how he feels. He lifts his own shaking hand and presses Christian's against his cheek. The warm palm burns against his flushed skin. 

“Yes, I am. Hey, Stranger.” 

Christian mouth opens and closes and Steve can't tear his eyes away from his lips. 

“Do you come down here and kiss me now or do I have to come up there?”

Steve's teasing sounds weak and his voice is breaking but it lights a smile on Christian's face that is breathtaking. 

He sits down and slides gracefully from the stage. He comes to stand only inches away from Steve, permeating heat like an oven and his smell, all musk and Christian, makes Steve's head spin. 

Christian's gaze is dark and Steve can see the barely held back hunger in it, but he doesn’t move closer. 

Instead he lets his hands slide down Steve's face, down his sides until they come to rest on his hips. He digs his fingers deep in his flesh but Steve doesn't even flinch. 

Christian finally leans in, his breath ghosting warm and soothing over Steve's skin and he can almost taste him.

“My name is Christian,” he growls, quiet and hoarse but the corners of his mouth twitch in a try to suppress the smile. 

Steve chuckles softly and as he meets Christian's open look, his heart jumps at the deep affection in it. 

“Hello, Christian.” 

The words roll over Steve's tongue, full and rich and just right. 

The next second he is pressed against the stage, Christian's lips on his, his tongue slipping in his mouth, sweet and warm curling around his, and his hummed moans vibrate through their bodies. 

Steve wraps his arms around the other man's neck, pulling him as close as possible and getting lost in the kiss. A kiss he's been awaiting for too long. A kiss that blows his mind, making him forget everything except Christian and his strong muscles under his hands and against his chest. A kiss that will change both their lives. 

His hands slide into Christian's hair and he feels his hands around his waist, pressing him hard and relentless against him. His lips tingle at the feeling of his mouth and he groans softly as he bites down on the soft flesh, drawing a silent whine from the other one. 

“God, I've missed those fucking sounds you make. Dreamed about them all the fucking time,” Steve whispers against Christian's lips, nibbling on the flesh. 

“Only that?” Christian murmurs, threading his hands through the blonde strands, sighing deeply at the feeling under his palms. 

“I missed you every fucking second since you left, Christian.” 

Steve's tone is serious and hot little shocks race through Christian's nerves, leaving them buzzing in joy. 

“I missed your coffee.” Christian teases, and the smile on his face is wide and blinding. 

“Don't make me kick your cute ass,” Steve replies, rolling his hips against Christian's and grins mischievously as his lids flutter at the amazing feeling. 

“Can we get out of here?” Steve's voice drops an octave and Christian notices the gaping people around them. 

“Ohh, shit,” he mumbles and reluctantly lets Steve go. 

“Don't you dare go anywhere,” he whispers before he hops back on the stage, the smile plastered to his face. He quickly glances over to the rest of his band but he only sees grinning faces. 

“Well, people, I'm really sorry, but I gotta go. I... uhm...,” he searches Steve's blue gaze before he continues, “I have to show my boyfriend his new home.” 

Steve's eyes narrow but he holds his head high and the smile on his face never falters.

“Jay, Ryan, Will, you wanna end the show?” 

Christian turns to them and Ryan nods, smirking at him. 

“Get your ass outta here,” he says, shooing him away. 

Christian grabs his bag, jumps from the stage and within seconds he and Steve are outside, inhaling the cold winter air. 

“Fuck, you didn’t tell me that it’s freezing here,” Steve grumbles as they walk down the sidewalk. 

Christian laughs loud, his body is vibrating with happiness. He takes Steve's hand and whirls him around, tugging him in a hard embrace. 

“Darlin' I'm gonna make sure you never freeze when you're here.” 

He kisses him hungrily and as he pulls back the smile has faded, replaced by something darker. 

“Fuck, you drive me crazy, you know that??” 

Steve caresses his face, feeling his skin flushing with the same want and need he sees in Christian's face. 

“I know. Because it’s the same thing you do to me. Can we _please_ go to your place now?? I wanna kiss you, and undress you and then I wanna fuck you until I can't think anymore. And then I wanna fall asleep in your arms. Do you think you can make that happen?” 

Steve's tone is rough, dangerously low and urgent, and Christian bites his lip at the words. 

“Yeah, I think I can do that,” he murmurs and claims Steve's mouth in another breathtaking kiss. 

“Now, Baby, or I'm gonna fuck you in the middle of the street...” Steve growls in his mouth and his hands slide under Christian's thick sweater. 

Christian gasps as Steve’s cold palms rub over his burning skin. 

“Car...around the corner...go...” he breathes, having a hard time taking the few steps without staggering over his own feet. 

Steve slips his hand in Christian’s and as he entwines his fingers with his, Christian knows this is just the beginning.

 

 **Six months later**

 

Christian can't take his eyes off of the clock. Impatiently he taps his foot at the hands that feel as if they are not moving. 

He growls quietly and then jumps to his feet. 

“Screw it,” he grunts and grabs his keys. 

Waiting at the airport is always the worst part but waiting at home isn't any better. 

He hurries down the stairs and a soft breeze blows in his face, making him smile. 

Not the gentle, warm winds he loves but close enough to bring back some memories. 

While he drives to the airport he goes through the things he wants to say. 

The surprise is huge, he knows that. Maybe a little terrifying but over the past months he found out that there are few things that can shock Steve. 

His Stevie.

Christian grins as he slowly lets the words roll over his lips. 

Boyfriend. 

Lover. 

Soon-to-be partner. 

He chuckles at that last one. 

He ignores the tiny bit of doubt in his head; it’s going to work out, he's sure. 

They arranged their lives around each other, and surprisingly they fit into the other one's like pieces of a puzzle. 

Steve stays in Hawaii when Christian is filming. Christian flies over when he has a couple of days off. 

Steve doesn’t like the cold in Portland so he only comes over when Christian can't leave. They stay home then, and Christian kept his promise: Steve never freezes when they are together. 

Smirking Christian slows the car down and into the parking lot of the airport. 

Still deep in thought he wanders inside the terminal, not bothering to check the destination board; he knows where to go. 

He buys a coffee on his way to the gate and sits opposite the exit. 

While sipping his coffee and waiting for the time to go by he thinks about all of the great times they’ve had together and that are still to come. 

He knows he can't make Steve stay with him; he needs his freedom, his friends and his time alone. Christian found that out pretty quickly, but they worked on it and now they have the perfect arrangement. 

Sure, the times alone are bad, but the internet, Skype and texts soothes the loneliness. 

Christian grins as he thinks about the things they did over the web and wonders if they melted any wires. 

“What the heck is causing that fucking raunchy grin?” a voice purrs low and quiet into his ear, sharp teeth biting softly in his earlobe. 

Christian's eyes fall closed as he reaches up and without looking he pulls Steve into a mouth-devouring kiss. 

Panting, Steve breaks the kiss and groans.

“Are you testing my patience, Stranger? Or my resistance? Because if you keep going like that they're gonna arrest us, right here and now.” 

Christian's heart jumps at the endearment. It became sort of a pet name and he likes the way Steve drawls it, slow and sexy; it drives him crazy and makes him lose the capacity to think. 

“Well,” he murmurs, standing up and turns to face him, “you can test mine...Gypsy.” 

He smirks as Steve's eyes narrow and darken. He growls quietly and doesn’t stop until Christian winks at him and takes his hand. 

“C'mon, let’s go home, I have a surprise for you.” 

“It better be something I can enjoy while being in bed with you, because I so won't do anything else other than riding you until you scream...” Steve hisses in his ear while they walk to the exit. 

Christian can barely hide the shudder that shakes his body, the anticipation almost touchable in the air. 

“How was your flight?” he asks, trying to distract himself. 

“You know how the flight was, why do you keep asking?” Steve replies, his fingers tighten around Christian's and his thumb rubs suggestively over his skin. 

Christian cringes at the rough tone and the touch and he squeezes Steve's hand firmly.

“To keep me from jumping you right here, man, that’s why. Come on, help me, would ya?” 

Christian can't control the need in his voice and he grits his teeth hard. 

“If you think I feel differently, well then I have to disappoint you....,” Steve murmurs softly. 

Christian grumbles quietly as they walk out of the terminal and to his car. 

That’s the reason he usually waits at home; it’s almost impossible to keep their hands off of each other in those first few hours when they're back together. 

Christian's blood is boiling, his nerves are on edge and the sheer presence of Steve drives him nuts. 

“God, I can't wait to have you in my bed, naked, needy....” 

Steve leans closer, his arm presses against Christian's and he can hear the heat in the man's voice. 

“Then let’s get the fuck outta here.” 

The drive is short, but Christian almost ends up in a ditch because Steve can't keep his hands to himself or his mouth shut. 

Back home Christian jumps out of the car and is inside before Steve can even unbuckle his seat belt. 

Knowing that he's mean and that he will probably regret it very soon, he gets out of the car, checks if the windows are closed and he takes a deep breath of the moist and clear air. 

He can almost feel Christian's impatience behind the half-open door as he climbs up the steps, one by one, slow and teasing. 

As he reaches the last one, he hears the dangerous low growl behind the door and he grins as he pushes it wide open. 

“You do know that you will regret this??” It’s only a hiss and Steve swallows hard before he kicks the door closed. 

Christian is over him before he can even blink, and his kiss is so wild that Steve staggers at the force but Christian's arms are around him, steadying him. 

“You're sooo gonna make up for letting me wait like this,” he groans into the kiss, pulling Steve closer, kissing him harder. 

And that’s the last sentence that is spoken for a while. 

Clothes are flying, their hands are everywhere, gripping hard; there are bruises and scratches, loud moans and sharp teeth, tasting blood. They are in a frenzy, deaf and blind for anything else but the other man. Both laying claim on the other, his mouth and his body. 

It’s like this every time: the first time is ecstatic, feral and they don’t care about the marks they leave on each other’s bodies. 

When they can think again, they smile widely at each other, sweat-soaked and panting, limbs tangled; neither knowing nor caring where one ends and the other one begins. 

They don’t care, because they know they are home. Because it’s never about a place; they are separated as much as they are together but they always know who their heart belongs to. 

Christian nuzzles Steve’s neck, licking over the salty skin and buries his nose in his hair, inhaling deeply. 

“I love how you smell when you come here, sun on your skin and wind in your hair...” 

Christian is buzzing contently and Steve's heart is light with joy and happiness. 

His fingers trail over the bruise he left on Christian's neck, dark and outstanding and he chuckles as Christian flinches.

“I love how I can mark you, over and over again and you never complain about it.” 

Christian smiles lazily. 

“That's because they stay even when you're gone again. They remind me of you.” 

Steve sighs silently. 

Yeah, the times apart are getting harder and harder. 

“Hey, you said you have a surprise for me,” he tries to sidetrack them both. 

Christian grins and his entire being vibrates with excitement. He sits up, pushes the damp hair out of his face as his eyes sparkle with anticipation. 

“Ohh, right. Well, you always complain about the humidity and the cold here, right?” 

Steve frowns but nods. 

“Yeah. And?” 

Christian's grin got wider as he leans back and takes a key ring with two keys from the nightstand. 

“What do you think about Nashville then? It’s warmer there, not as humid and the flight is only slightly longer.” 

“Uhmm...” Steve doesn’t really understand but as Christian takes his hand and lays the keys in it, he's beaming at him.

“I bought a house there.” 

Steve eyes widen and his gaze flies from the keys to Christian and back, confusion clearly on his face. 

Christian chuckles and strokes a strand of hair out of the other man's face. 

“Remember the guy I talked to at the last show?” 

Steve nods; yeah, he remembers him. A manager, Christian had said, not wanting to tell him more. 

“Well, he made me an offer to record a CD.” 

He observes Steve closely as the words sink in, and he snickers as Steve’s eyes grow even wider and he shoots up.

“What?? That awesome, you’ve always wanted that.” 

“Yes, and do you know what the best thing is? I can bring in whomever I want. They won’t make any restrictions.” 

Steve's smile now matches Christian's and he pulls him into a tight hug.

“Fuck, that’s great. You can bring in the whole band. Will and Jay and Ryan... Did..?”

“And you.” Christian interrupts him softly and pulls back, looking him deep in the eyes. 

“I'm not gonna do it without you.” 

Steve's mouth falls open and Christian chuckles as his perplexed expression. 

“Me?? But...I... what?” 

Christian laughs loudly; it’s pure happiness. 

“Baby, I want you to do this with me. Sure, I'd love to have the rest of the band there, too, but the only one I care about is you.” 

Steve tilts his head, thinking about that. 

Sure, he did join Christian when he's in town and they have a gig and he loves to be on stage with him. A lot. They complete each other, and more than once they got huge positive responses to their shows. But he had never thought about it, making music professionally. With Christian. 

Christian watches him, waiting patiently. 

Steve's mind is racing, considering all the pros and cons of such a chance. It would be a great opportunity. For both of them. 

Steve loves the music, he loves the feeling it gives him, and playing with Christian is the most wonderful thing that has happened to him. 

“Fuck,” he murmurs, searching Christian's blue eyes. And Steve knows that he knew the answer the second Christian asked. 

“Yes. Yes, I would love that.” 

Christian face starts glowing and his smile is breathtaking in its joy. He closes Steve's hand around the keys, still laying in his palms and leans in, kissing him gently. 

“Me, too.” 

Steve slings his arms around Christian's neck, pressing his face against his hair, inhaling the scent he knows so well. 

“Yes,” he mumbles again and his heart fills with a calmness he never felt before. 

He doesn’t know what the future will bring or if they will be successful. 

But he knows as long as he is with the man who owns his heart, everything will be fine. 

“Hey,” he says, smirking, ”do they have a good coffee shop in Music City??” 

Christian's laugh is easy and loud and as he pushes Steve back in the pillows, kissing him deeply, the sun comes out and throws its golden beams on them, illuminating the two men and their bright future. 

 

 


End file.
